A word for the parent whose child has gone a little ahead into the great mystery · by Rev. Rabbi Henry-Cameron Allen, OCP, ICGC
Peregrine is a new way to describe a parent whose child has preceded them a little ahead into the great mystery.
"Recently, a peregrine falcon came to me in a dream. It looked into my eyes and said simply, 'It's time.' I knew precisely what it meant."
- Henry-Cameron Allen, OCP, ICGC, LTC Founder
Widow. Orphan. These words universally acknowledge those who grieve a partner or parent. Yet no single word exists to describe a parent who endures outliving their child. We deserve the same recognition. It's time.
Peregrine is a word that is at once beautiful, powerful, and evocative. It suggests strength, resilience, courage, and hope in the face of great adversity, while honoring the sacred journey we travel through grief.
From Latin peragrare, meaning "to travel through," peregrine originally described "a stranger in the fields" or "lost traveler." Medieval Latin called the falcon falco peregrinus, literally "pilgrim falcon," because young birds had to be captured during their first migratory pilgrimages.
Today, peregrino still means pilgrim in Spanish, pèlerin in French. The word carries the sacred weight of pilgrimage across cultures.
As grieving parents, we often feel like lost travelers, strangers in a strange land, pilgrims on a sacred journey through grief, seeking to regain hope, purpose, and peace. We are wanderers seeking something precious we grieve.
The peregrine falcon embodies our journey. Native to every continent, these birds nest in high, inaccessible places. They have no fear of flying, indeed, they are Earth's fastest animals, reaching 200 mph. They migrate up to 20,000 miles yearly, fearless in their long-distance journeys.
Symbolically, across cultures, peregrines represent protection, rebirth, renewal, power, strength, and hope. All the qualities we must find within ourselves to endure. Once endangered by DDT, the peregrines' recovery from near-extinction mirrors our own potential for healing: the possibility of renewal even after the unimaginable has happened.
Since ancient times, the Egyptians recognized the constellation now known as Aquila as the Falcon of Horus, depicted as a Peregrine. It remains one of the most recognizable constellations in the Northern Sky, and still represents renewal, strength, hope, protection, and freedom in many cultures today. The second brightest star in the constellation is called Alshain, derived from the Arabic Al-shahin. It means Peregrine. Let Alshain be our guiding star.
There is no single right way to grieve. Some Peregrines find comfort in sharing their journey; others grieve privately. Some find solace in faith; others in nature or art. What matters is allowing yourself to feel and finding what works for you.
If the word Peregrine resonates with you, start using it. Share it widely. Like "widow" and "orphan," new meanings take time to catch on, but with practice, we expect this definition will someday be added to dictionaries.
The Lost Travelers Club is where grieving parents come together to uplift one another. We offer resources and programs to help Peregrines cope with grief and find hope for the future.
If you are a Peregrine, we encourage you to join. If you know someone who is a Peregrine, please guide them our way.
Together, we can find strength in shared experiences. We can honor our children by finding new ways to live. We are Peregrines, flying fearless and free on the wings of grief toward a new future. Trusting the current, trusting the course.
Rev. Rabbi Henry-Cameron Allen, OCP, ICGC
TheVirtualHermit.Quest
Peregrine is a new way to describe a parent whose child has preceded them a little ahead into the great mystery. It suggests strength, resilience, courage, and hope in the face of great adversity, while honoring the sacred journey of grief.
Widow and orphan both exist to name those who grieve a partner or a parent. No single word has existed to describe a parent who outlives their child. Peregrine is offered to fill that gap.
From the Latin peragrare, meaning to travel through, peregrine originally described a stranger in the fields, or a lost traveler. It also names the peregrine falcon, Earth's fastest animal, a bird once endangered by DDT whose recovery mirrors a grieving parent's own potential for renewal.
The Lost Travelers Club is where grieving parents come together to uplift one another, offering resources and programs to help Peregrines cope with grief and find hope for the future.